5 Ways to Beat Holiday Divorce Blues
Everyday I work with couples going through a divorce and know the holidays are a tough time. If you are recently separated or divorced, here are a few simple tips for getting through the holidays and adjusting to new traditions and practices.
1) Recognize that the holidays might be a hard time and plan ahead. Try to anticipate which events or activities will be hard and plan how to get through them effectively. Don't put yourself in situations that are going to drain your emotional stamina.
2) Create new holiday traditions. If it's your first time alone during the holidays you need to create new holiday traditions. The holidays are all about traditions and if you are no longer with that someone who you shared traditions with, you need to create new ones for yourself.
3) Try not to over compensate the absence of one spouse by purchasing a lot of gifts for your kids. A lot of people feel they have to keep the status quo. If there are now two households because of a divorce, money will likely be tight. There are a lot of things you can do to focus on meaningful times together, such as stringing popcorn and making other holidays decorations. This might be a good opportunity to get back into values with your kids, they will likely appreciate it.
4) Balance your social and family life. Give yourself permission to spend the holidays in a way that works best for you. You don't need to throw yourself into the whole social malaise. If being around family is uncomfortable, don't feel obligated to spend all day with family, just spend a few hours.
5) Be thankful for what you have, not just over Thanksgiving, but throughout the holiday season. Many things have probably changed in your life, but what is there, new or old, for which you are grateful? Focus on developing those relationships and things that you value.
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With offices in Raleigh, Charlotte, and Chapel Hill/Durham, Rosen Law Firm is the largest divorce firm on the East Coast. Founded in 1990, the firm is dedicated to providing individual growth and support to couples seeking divorce by helping them move forward with their lives. Our staff of attorneys, accountants, and specially trained divorce coaches expertly address the complex issues of ending a marriage. Our innovative approach acknowledges that divorce is so much more than just a legal matter. Practice areas include child custody, alimony, property distribution, separation agreements, and domestic violence relief.
Everyday I work with couples going through a divorce and know the holidays are a tough time. If you are recently separated or divorced, here are a few simple tips for getting through the holidays and adjusting to new traditions and practices.
Rosen Law Firm 4101 Lake Boone Trail Suite 500 Raleigh, NC 27607 www.rosen.com "Divorce is Different Here"
About the author:
Jennifer Coleman is a Life Transition Coach at Rosen Law Firm and assists clients through the emotional transition that accompanies the legal process of divorce. She is a National Certified Counselor and specializes in marriage and family counseling.